Homepage of Hammy the Hamster

My friend got a Hamster. I thought he (the hamster) was so cute that he deserved a homepage. (This is not the original Hammy Hamster, who had his own TV show and stuff.) The following is a compilation of news about and photos of Hammy. It is arranged in chronological order, so fresh stuff will always be at the bottom...

I'm singlehandedly attempting to make Hammy the world's most photographed hamster. I split the page up so that you can more easily skip over what you've already seen.


24. November, 1999.
The announcement:

From droyko@ucalgary.ca  Thu Nov 25 00:03:11 1999
Subject: HI EVERYBODY!!!

Thought I'd steal Maria's mass email list and scoop her story.  I expected
her to have already spread the news, but I guess that she was too busy
having a rather significant (?) cup of coffee today...

Maria got a hamster!  I went up to visit her for a couple of days
(always an adventure), and this time, as a special treat, she took
me to P.J.'s Pet Emporium - or was it Pet Wearhouse?  Pet Paradise?
There we met a cute little fella who seemed very active and perky -
once Maria stuck her hand in the cage and rattled his house, that
is.  Anyways, they seemed to connect on some level, and so we found
ourselved carting a cage, pellets of alfalfa (at least that's what
Maria claims they smell like), and a package of wood chips the size
of a small refrigerator, home.  With the critter in a cardboard box
under my jacket (for warmth), we scurried past the neighbours' doors
trying to avoid detection.  (Don't tell her landlord she's got a pet!)

He was christened Hammy the Hamster (a/k/a Hammy Kang).  She set up
his new home, and he took an immediate liking to the wheel.  We decided
he was rather an exceptional hamster, though, when he seemed to
prefer running on the outside of the wheel rather than the inside.
He'd climb up the side of the cage, and spin the wheel with his two
free paws.  Then he'd climb down, run to the other side, climb up,
and spin the wheel with the other two legs.  After a lot of prodding
and encouragement, he did seem to fathom the merits of bilateral
exercize on the *inside* of the wheel.  (The next day I read the
little pamphlet that said, "Allow your pet at least 24 hours to get
used to his new home before attempting any handling."  Oops.  Sorry,
Maria.)

It was decided that the best place for him was, of course, the living 
room.  Namely, right beside my bed.  "If he makes too much noise,
put him in the bathroom, ok?  If he gets cold, cover him up with
a towel."  Sure, mom.  After a few pages of "Postmodernism for
Beginners", my eyelids were very heavy, so I bid Hammy good night,
and turned out the light.  Poof!  Instantaneous night.  And silence.
The wheel stopped turning.  "We're going to get along just fine,
aren't we?" I thought to myself.  And we did.  Until 5:30 am, when I hear
the tearing of newspaper by my right ear.  By dawn, he had a lovely
little nest in one corner of the cage surrounded by pretty pieces of
the sports section torn and curled just so.

I must admit that Hammy has won me over.  And when you hear Maria
talking to her new friend in her best Paeds rotation voice, you know
that the two have truly bonded.

Watch for a Hammy Homepage coming to a browser near you...

Dom.


P.S.  Maria:  I hope that you'll still let me visit after this email :-)

The photos:
(Taken 23. November, 1999.)

[wise mouse with twitching wiskers]
Mausy, another of Maria's close rodent friends,
anticipating the new addition to the family.

[Maria looking worried]
"Do you think he's still alive?
He's not moving!"

[lovely pink ears]
Hammy in his new home.

[exchanging grins]
Maria and Hammy getting to know each other.

[faster than...]  [a stationary bullet?] 
Once taught the intended use of the wheel,
Hammy was just a blur.

[Hammy looking very cute]
Looking forward to being tall some day.


25. November, 1999.
Response of concerned friend:

Date: Thu, 25 Nov 1999 21:34:05 -0700 (MST)
From: [well wishing friend]
To: Rominik 
Subject: Re: HI EVERYBODY!!!

Hee hee!  That was a well rendered tale.  I must say that the last
hamsters I was involved with were a rather nasty experience- Houser and
Mouser. ONe day Mouser went missing and mom leaned onto the cage to hold
it steady while she rooted around inside it and a week later we found
Mouser's pancake like body under the cage.  Houser's name was changed to
Queenie.  We told... [my younger sister] that we had seen Mouser outside
living in the maple tree stump (really, it was a rat).

I hope Hammy has a happier life!

[- well wishing friend]

1. December 1999.
News from the source:

From: Maria
Date: Wed, 01 Dec 1999 21:33:02 MST
Subject: Hello!!!

Hi everybody!!!
Greetings from Edmonton!!!

HOw are y'all???

I'm doing fine!!! My quality of life has improved since I have got this pet, 
a hamster: he is really cute, he is an albino (rare, ooh aah) with pink 
eyes, white fur and cream colored patches. He is super cute, and can do very 
clever things other hamsters can't, like run on the outside of his wheel 
using two paws. I am feeding him carrots, hamster pellets (really stinky), 
seed mix, and apple. Also, I got this hamster ball you can stick him in, and 
when he runs the ball rolls around: it is hilarious. Did you know that all 
hamsters in the wild descended from one family found thousands of years ago 
in Syria??? Another fascinating fact: in nature, hamsters get water by 
drinking dew drops off leaves and rocks.  Wow, now your lives are 
enriched!!!

...

BYE EVERYBODY!!!
Hammy says bye too, he wants hamster treats for christmas!!!

4. December, 1999.
Response from a silly friend:

Date: Sat, 4 Dec 1999 19:12:40 -0700
From: Jan
To: droyko@ucalgary.ca
Subject: Dancing URLs

http://www.hampsterdance.com/ [moved]

http://www.funlinked.com/critter/

http://www.multimania.com/goprof/fsdancer.htm

(taken 28. December, 1999.)
Hammy's voyage to Calgary.

[munching on fragrant salad]
Hammy came to visit Calgary over Christmas.
Here, he found a new favourite food: rose petals.

[scampering away]
Always the escape artist, Hammy tries to get away from Maria.

[up against a coffee table]
Roaming around my cluttered appartment
in his new all terrain hamster ball.

[ice skating Hammy]
Walking on mirrors.
He did not seem upset by the hamster on the other side of the glass.
Maybe there's a narcissist in him waiting to come out.


11. January, 1999.
Hammy sent me a greeting card:

Received: from web-a10.pa.bmarts.com (HELO client.bmarts.com) (209.247.132.20)
  by mail-c3.pa.bmarts.com with SMTP; 11 Jan 2000 01:40:55 -0000
Sender: postoffice@bluemountain.com (hoo hoo guess who - as entered by sender)
Date: Mon, 10 Jan 2000 17:40:55 -0800 (PST)
To: droyko@ucalgary.ca (Dominik)
Subject: Around Around - from hoo hoo guess who

You have just received an animated greeting card from hoo hoo guess who
You'll see the personal greeting by using the following Web location.

http://www1.bluemountain.com/cards/box5439s/nyf5uhmdcwfazk.htm

(Your greeting card will be available for the next 90 days)
There is no charge for this service! :)  HAVE a good day and have fun!

____________________________________________________________

25. January, 2000
Celebrating the Scottish Bard

From: Maria
To: droyko@ucalgary.ca
Subject: Re: Robbie Burns Day
Date: Wed, 26 Jan 2000 13:18:45 MST

Hi man!!!
Thanks for the note!!! Hammy really liked the poem.
He thinks it's great.

...

>From: "Dominik Royko" 
>To: Hammy c/o Maria
>Subject: Robbie Burns Day
>Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2000 23:56:56 MST
>
>Being the literary hamster that you are, what with the way you
>devour all those newspapers, you're surely aware that today is
>Robbie Burns Day.  To help put you in the mood, I thought I'd
>send along this poem he wrote, undoubtedly with you in mind
>(or at least your Syrian ancestors)...
>
>                       To An 'Amster
>
>       Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie,
>       O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
>       Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
>       Wi' bickering brattle!
>       I wad be laith to rin an' chase thee
>       Wi' murd'ring pattle!
>
>       I'm truly sorry man's dominion,
>       Has broken nature's social union,
>       An' justifies that ill opinion,
>       What makes thee startle
>       At me, thy poor, earth-born companion,
>       An' fellow-mortal!
>
>       I doubt na, whiles, but thou may thieve;
>       What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
>       A daimen icker in a thrave
>       'S a sma' request;
>       I'll get a blessin wi' the lave,
>       An' never miss't!
>
>       Thy wee bit housie, too, in ruin!
>       It's silly wa's the win's are strewin!
>       An' naething, now, to big a new ane,
>       O' foggage green!
>       An' bleak December's winds ensuin,
>       Baith snell an' keen!
>
>       Thou saw the fields laid bare an' waste,
>       An' weary winter comin fast,
>       An' cozie here, beneath the blast,
>       Thou thought to dwell -
>       Till crash! the cruel cleaner didst
>       Thro' out thy cell.
>
>       That wee bit heap o' chips an' drivel,
>       Has cost thee mony a weary nibble!
>       Now thou's turn'd out, for a' thy trouble,
>       But house or hald,
>       To thole the winter's sleety dribble,
>       An' cranreuch cauld!
>
>       But Hammy, thou art no thy lane,
>       In proving foresight may be vain;
>       The best-laid schemes o' an 'amster's brain
>       Gang aft agley,
>       An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
>       For promis'd joy!
>
>       Still thou art blest, compar'd wi' me;
>       The present only toucheth thee:
>       But och! I backward cast my e'e,
>       On prospects dreaer!
>       An' forward, tho' I canna see,
>       I guess an' fear!
>
>Enjoy.  And tell Maria that there's plenty to get excited about on
>a day like this, even if you're not a highlander (like Drambuie)!
>
>Dom McRoyko

19. January, 2000
Postcard for Maria & Hammy

[Chippy with stuffed cheeks]

Oh Nuts!
What can I say? As soon as I saw
this card, your little family in Edmonton
leapt to mind. It's very reminiscent of
the escapades of a certain someone
trying to get into their treasure chest
with a hamster pellet in each
cheek! Val tells a similar story of
a chipmunk she met in the mountains.
After stuffing his face with pawfulls
of goodies from tourists, he tried
running through a fence only to find
he no longer fit between the bars.
Looking forward to seeing you both
soon.
Love,
Dom.
Disclaimer: The image is © The Postcard Factory. (Photo: D. Cox; Ref: C-96v) I only scanned in the cutest 7%. Please don't sue.

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